just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
