So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
