Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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