this beer tastes like vomit already
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
