It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
