so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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