Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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