she told me i tasted like america
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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