The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Got a toothbrush?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
