Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
