I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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