i think my mom watched the whole time
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
