I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
