I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
