I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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