roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
