I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Your penis caused this!
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