can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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