I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
BRING THE BAGELS
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
