I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
