i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
