Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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