I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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