I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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