I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
