tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
