yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
