Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
