just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
