just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish you could order shots online.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have aggressive nipples.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
