It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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