matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
