i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
