My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
