I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
