So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
