I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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