yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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