Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
