I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
