i don't like sucking hair
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
