I'm jealous of your bromance
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think my moral compass just broke
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
