# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
