Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
