i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
