who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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