even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
