So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
