Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Someone signed my nipple.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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