Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We left the knife in your bed.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
