hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
