You can't special order awesome
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
