Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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