Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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