He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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